HOT SEAT

It has been a rollicking journey so far as an undergraduate. I have always stated that I use bits and pieces of others' personalities to form my own. Hence, I don't actually exist. My whole physical entity is more of an ensemble of thoughts and ideas of the people I have met in life who have influenced me.
And the last three years in college have somehow been a real transformation period. I have met people who have such a clear perception of life, that you cant help but look up to them. People of such determination and courage, that you are coerced to emulate them. I have learnt a lot from my fellow students and now I intend to give some of it back. Therefore I narrate this short incident that happened during our freshers party this year [2007].

As you can see, the heading suggests a lot about the incident. So avoiding unnecessary details, I move on straightaway to the scene. Its a hotel lounge. I am resting on the sofa along with my group mates. Standing in front of us is my senior coolly puffing a fag and castigating a junior for asking a question, “Who the hell are you to ask me such a question? Have you ever been to my room and asked me about my well being? Who are you to judge me?What you are saying is simply ridiculous. You say I behave differently these days and I'll tell you that I haven't talked to you for six months.”.

While all this was happenning, I felt sorry for the junior. Poor guy, he had merely asked a question as a custom, and now he was being punished for doing it. But I still think that my senior was correct in pointing out, that we had no right to judge him. Anyways, he continued speaking pausing sometimes for a whiff and said something which I feel as the greatest collection of words used to describe life. He said, a little appeased by seeing the junior so scared,” Well. its ok..But, I still wont answer that ludicrous question. What I will now tell you is my story, or better, every final year's story. I'll tell you about the four years of college life. I'll tell you what we do as students here. It is utterly insignificant whether what we do is right or wrong. What matters is that each one of us go through the same phases in these four years...” Here he broke off for a swig from a glass nearby.

He continued,” We enter here as first years,..or freshers..as they are called...not sure of ourselves, little scared of people around us. Walking cowed down, scared by the sight of seniors. But as the time passes, we form friends with people, start enjoying ourselves. Life becomes a little easy. I still say that friendship bonds formed in the first year are the strongest if they continue. You get accustomed to living alone. You start taking responsibilities. You tend to understand that its not such a bad world if you do things the right way. You begin to understand the high-handedness of authorities.”
Now suddenly I could feel a kind of energy in the air. Everyone was listening intently.
“Then comes the great second year. We feel like lions in a jungle. Free from the bondages of being a first year, we feel ourselves overwhelmed by the responsibility of ragging the juniors. Mouthing obscenities in every sentence we speak. There is also a lovely part. We fall in so called love. I'll tell you personally that it is a beautiful feeling and it can actually inspire you to do great things. Warmed by this strange feeling we tend to go around the college, hanging around in 'nescea' or panditji. We want to be seen and noticed. Its good if we get the girl. But what if we don't. Many of us, and I say this after seeing many people, tend to falter. I say that it is a bad thing to do. The feeling of love is too great,relish it,don't ruin it. We shouldn't expect anything else. And more importantly, damn it!..... we have a career to worry about.”
“The third year is the year of frenzy. Worried about grades and placement. People who do not have decent scores start feeling the pinch. Others just tend to worry about the big job issue.You feel the urge to study and do well, everytime you breathe.People you have been friends with for the last 2.5 years suddenly turn into competitors. So, I advice you all to please handle the stress well...Whooooa ... its here..”

By this time our auto had arrived and we had to leave..It was very late in the night and manager of the hotel had already warned us once. So we left. I hadn't noticed that I was walking alongside my senior. He placed a hand on my shoulder and asked,” What do you think of today?”. I said ,”Sir, I think sometimes we need other people to help us understand ourselves. You just did that to me.” With a smile he said, “Isn't life beautiful?”. I smiled back and said, “ Indeed, but only for those who live it.”.

This episode ends here. It was important in the sense that it made me understand why people do what they do. I knew what was coming to me in the next few years so I was prepared for it. But here is the catch...I still do not know about the last year..May be I'll have to discover it myself.

Anyway, if you are going home on diwali and if you liked this, please do not forget to get me some sweets. Personally I prefer rasgullas and kaju barfi..Rest is upto you. ;)

Wishing you a Happy Diwali...